Letters from a confessed Misanthrope and Misogynist
"The Sun blazed down, our bodies drenched in the heat of sweat, godless, clueless. That "spiritual place", was regarded as but a fuzzy feeling inside. The pumping, thrusting and pleasure bellowed on, a cloud of dark matter around us, that haze, when prophets finally fall. You see, we don't know who we are, until we begin to realize, that call, that yell, towards self reliance, be but the call to curse your own soul. You know full well, you can juggle those many tasks, yet the world cast before you, is not at all as it seems."
Stellar Mass
A comment
On 2008
"In succession, we take steps, each one be counted. There is too a season, that displays full well, this is a mind hunt...that collection of soul force, for the gain".
The clarity is gone, the bliss is no more. For 23 long and miserable years, I have endured her sociopathic role reversal, now an old and broken Man. I always felt this light within me, even a sense of pervading justice, but alas, it was always what I projected, as Universe unto myself. I seemed to excite the fields everywhere I went, these vampires "soul suckers" literally have it in them, as to mirror your very soul, as it reflects upon them, they mean to absorb your very light. She did just that even as to go so far, as to thieve away, that very reflection of my suppressed agony and pain.
These psychic Vampires are hard to pin down, in order that they should be nailed to the depths, beneath the ground, where they can not harm another. Somehow, through ritual I am sure, most likely having something to do with a certain Jack Parson's, as John was known, in those Thelemic circles, where this spirit of the very Whore of Babylon, was unleashed, as Leviathan, upon Men, again.
It seems Man always pushes a good case towards Purity, yet seems to fail in his very misgivings time and again. You see, as Man doubt himself, at least as Woman sees him, from her little vantage point, where she must still protect her image of purity first, this is how it appears. This doubt, is not doubt at all, but that last moment of contemplation prior to any act, any deed, which will be forever written, unbeknownst to modern Man.
I had thought I escaped from an abusive passed, a drunken ex heroin attic for a biological Father, who turned his own sociopath invention of life, towards painting continuously, a false Luciferian light and terminal structure, upon the canvas of his hatred towards a Son, who was likened to the Father, of his abandon. Projecting, always projecting these lost miserable sorts, who mean to suck bliss from the Purity of Blind Men's very hearts. So I went from one form of defaming every secret cycle of abuse, into another, and still have bumps to show for it.
To say I was a victim, is to also cast the entire world into this confusion, where the silent Puppet Master merely practices his works, for this is all charade. What I mean to say, is that "this" meaning life, is but a silent slip towards madness, as we go quietly, humbly, to an early grave, as diligent Americans, cast upon a globe of life theft and ever greater confusion. Those who destruct could be likened to those very scavengers, that work within our body systems, in the vastness of all those biological events, we don't stop to think of what the world would be like disease and germ free. Instead we rather get quite appointed to the notion, that the Universe, and thus our own physiology, works by way of constant counter measure, so much so, that this pollution, as peoples, takes it into their best interest, as to disseminate, castrate and absorb that better Man. He will cry out into the streets of his fair city "Vita est aequum", yet to be heralded a Madman.
That is what this blog is about, as I have no sensible or proper parliamentary court system on which to turn, you see, I have been heralded away, by the very derelicts which run, what appears to be, only from the outside, not unlike that Brothel Nietzsche accidentally first fell upon, that would invariably, in the end, kill him off.
So I turn to the people, yet also to make good on a certain demand, which seems to be the devils schizophrenic code, that is, if you were to come across several of his own, as I have, then you had better appease them, for they push night and night (2), towards that furnace, of their own destruction.
These aren't highly organized, well mannered Gentlemen, and Ladies, as we have discovered more recently, that this racketeering of the rotary club is but a front, as the the lapels on your very dress and finery imply a dark and ominous affiliation. My Father was a sadistic alcoholic, who smiled to impress, yet laid low, as a snake in the grass, far be it from any intrusive system, such as a "social services", to call him out, and away. I had 3 sisters, the Eldest a true patron of her Father's Art, a strange union between them, as she acted more a Christian succubus, only later in life, as to feed on her demented Father's offerings, (then) now painting more structure, as to influence the soundness of his own like mind, into off rhythm beats. This is largely the way, those strange anthropoids, those cave painters of the art community, would...commune. Not unlike a witchcraft festival, they would gather to rejoice in those strange quirky recreations, of a life and a world, while sticking maple flavored whips, into each their shame filled bums (the abyss), where true light can never shine.
A sick strange phenomenon, a life, trapped in what most locals called a fishbowl. The streets covered with the shame lit moon of yor, as many churches stood behind the gates of spiritual disconnect, to the outside world. The middle daughter took her abuse, and ran with it, so far in fact, that by the age of 15, she was already working full time, and out of the house. She was that simple blank slate, who mimicked her outside world, to such an extent, she was absorbed by it entirely, no person there remains today, only borrowed parts, a bride, to all delinquent types. Yet this was only on the inside, her interpretation (her excuse for disdain) for which she paid her homage, for on the outs, she was a predator, and taught my x-wife a thing or two. They would go out on the town, my sister even going so far as to pull my wife, at the time, out to clubs, to vouch for her very philandering and cheating, come morning. One night, I decided to go to where she said she would be, only to meet with her, drunk, smelling of sex, come morning, this is my family so far, but this is just a peak.
What do you say to a life, a family, a school, a community, hell a country, when you see through it, and are entirely not vested in it's evil of becoming that Pagan throne, a trident, a tower of Babel, who spites God and all he stands for. Those however, who are not in opposition, will be thus consumed by the fire, and so I was. We, pure ones, always think, to some extent, that we will be saved. There is this feeling, that "they will come back for me, I don't belong here!"...45, and the bus never came back. I did see some black orbs once however, back in 1991 (a warning?).
I looked over the community center, near by my broken home, and saw there, what looked like two black balloons, just floating, in the horizon. These balloons however moved, with a magnetic strangeness, in the shadow of those aloof Reagan days, a true blank slate, a carbon sheet, to be wrote upon. I saw back then what appeared to me as a massive false skyline, a Mother ship perhaps looming just before me, though stealthed behind the screen of night, the assumed atmosphere. I was only, perhaps 20, at the time, but the emptiness of disinformation still pervades, from the darkness of the time. Floating there, hovering, then moving into pyramid form, then to all but dilate, dissipate, into star systems, themselves, in an instant...yet seeming to have never moved at all. Most didn't look up then, there was no need to validate nor invalidate this world. I however never excepted it as it introduced itself to be, a facade, a shell, of unmet hopes and dreams (the 80's personal promise to me).
If you at all appose him, if you at all appose the system of the order, you will not be rewarded. This power will rob, and steal things you thought for the long, to be your very own, such as your own personal honor, your very likes and dislikes, everything seemed to be modifiable, then. I didn't know, that many years later, the world itself would be deemed a projection of the mind, in short a fraud. Soon after this encounter, I met her, she came into my family home, as renter. My Mother rented rooms out, as she does today, now I an occupant, as well as the very Son of my heart, who was brutally destroyed by this faction, of unseen military strategy, as to acquisition Men's souls. I have seen it all, the unfairness, the stupidity, the brutality. This world is but a shadow, to a system that is in direct control of the very breath you take, and the air you breath. There is no escape, but in death, so for one such as I, to speculated with regularity, (what is that great beyond?), only to realize, by shear process of thought, and conclusion, that we must be in the very process of grooming for this event, which thousands partake of day to day. It is not enough to be a great writer, but you must be of a self promoting mediocre writing skill set, deemed great by those Bohemian Grove Members, I from a similar town, called Pacific Grove, (just south of Santa Cruz, and San Francisco) stuck there somewhere in the middle of this living version of the Gauss sequence, Highway 101 on the up, Highway 101 on the way down, it's all how you play it, that determines the ride.
For the long, it sold many copies of books on pure optimism, this false belief that the world was not plotting against you, that there indeed were no watcher's, observing your every move, influencing and directing your impact, life and thoughts. Now we know better. I began to just hang out with her, but her crafty ways, with so many Men, were transparent, quite see through, far before the end. The snare was used in this fashion, as to enter into a home with no harmony, and thus bring more of the same (demons). Of course I would react, of course I would chose to harmonize, in my imagination, to avoid "the fight". She was insane, but this I only known for certain in that eternal "today", as yesterday I was in denial. A vessel for a far more conniving purpose, in the end, she would derail and ruin several lives. Throw each off their collective tracks, in fact, become the agitated object of many broken Men's "attention deficit disorders". I did not think deductively, as so very many 20 year old's, yet I should have. Only two years prior, my Mother kicked me to the curb, to rent my room out. You see, breaks are given to those who wear the lapel with a smile, shake hands with a masonic grip, and look into the eyes, dead set with ravenous wolf like desire, this insures full occupation of the form, the unknown conjuring of a demon host, whilst that smiling Shriner Clown looks on.
"They" are out there every day, those Tom Cruise offshoots of Masonic influence, but these take on that disguised spirit of the Scientologist's, the Rotary club, where Ted Bundy lurks behind the Painted Clown. My Son, at nearly 20, sleep by day, and lives in his own world by night. Like a Dolphin swimming in the Moon lit sea, he has his heaven there. Yet, there are no waters here, for peace outside that Masonic grip, to press forth, my life an empty shattered shell, seeing this truth, yet stemming with such spiritual bondage, a family sacrifice, as we are all expected to do (to give, a life), it is the Pagan way. This is why I have to follow the Pure Son, Christ's teachings, absent the Masonic draconian influence, on "The Bible" (so who knows anything?), so cowardly infused in such peoples masquerading as the Modern Day Jew. Theft, outright theft, be occurring in this day. Your very vitality is a thing of private trade, it is printed on your number of manufacture, those 9 digits, which lock you into the dark embrace (that Black Sun).
I beckoned the day, when I could finally live in unity, but the devils influence kept getting stronger, more pronounced. Now, we are on the verge of total discovery, total collapse, leaving no pebble unturned (each person), to the truth, of what is upon us all. They say in months from this personal journal, that in September of 2015, CERN, that Large Hadron Collider (LHC) will be firing up with a definite final purpose. The FEMA camps are waiting, and the homes are broken. Hearts in search of Purity, are shattered across a nation, unto a world. Those who pretend that all is "business as usual" are right, there is a definite goal, a firm position, as to bring that Anti-Matter directly into our daily lives, as influence, fully vested now, in the blackness, of their own hearts and unified mind, pure evil.
The welts each time he beat me, were like looking at a slave, discovered post theft of live stock. That Belt, hit me so hard, as to draw blood and purple infused lines, of distrust, toward Man, a soul separation, the craft of Father onto Son (the sell out). At 13 I over powered him, but the Christian doctrine polluted me, and so I released him from his headlock, and allow him to topple me, and punch me, with each weak blow, I could have destroyed my own Father, at any moment, and I thought with my heart, "is this what it comes down to, (a test)?" He walked away, had another drink and suppressed his homicidal homophobic allure, "a Woman, in Man's facade", I thought to myself. Yet what I did not realize then, that very haze of bullshit covered my view, that a Father, no matter the deed, is willed a voice in this sphere, as the Jewish God is only Law. This speculation, allowed me to uncover, what I always suspected to be, but yet how could I go on, with this weight upon me, how could I ever rest?... and I have not.
The sins of your Father unfairly weigh upon you. So society be set, to exploit this very spiritual travesty. You see, in total positivity, within a functional world model, hell universal model, this would be great, you could benefit from your Father's knowledge, doesn't work this way. You see, there isn't an invisible string, which denotes these events, they entirely willed and orchestrated.
As a side note, I think about how heavily influence a particle can be, when in the presence of "observer"...and so, the conclusion to my point:
"There are beings, which are seen now more and more often, that are always there, taking notes, influencing, attempting to play with your ear, affecting the substance and force...the direction, of your every exertion, as to manipulate their own reality".
This become more evident, in 2013, when I actually had enough! I needed to know, I needed proof. So I followed a trail for months, "why is my life so cursed?", and I found the answers, because there really are, little Green, sometimes see through, and sometimes Gray Beings/Men, who are directly influencing the field, in which you now "think" that you reside. I have always been content within, tortured for this on the without, and completely board on the basis of what be "that mid center zone". Through the flow, how the culmination of energy goes, where it goes. That thing, in your youth, which you mistaken for vitality, a life force, is connected and controlled, at these beings every whim. By way of ritual, through symbol, they will justify, in their own backward community, a reason. They don't let up. Listen, if you ever stand for True Purity, at any point in your miserable life, if you ever see that people just need a break, assistance, so leave em' alone, and you do, and you take it one step further, where you now place all your God given will towards spreading as much of this purity abroad, you will see what I mean. For now, you are enemy number one, they will test you, mock you, turn blind agents, into active and initiated members bent on your very destruction, this isn't a movie, it is quite real.
See, for a long time, I didn't blame people or circumstances, because this, as well as the fallacy that boys don't cry, stuck to me, a global dharma. If I had an issue I would look past it, shuff it away, till another day, in time the issue would resolve itself...right? In a dynamic and living universe, this is true, that Purity reigns supreme, and thus all that has been done, will be known and dealt with, in time. Yet I began to see, that on a large universal scale, this simply was not the case, thus disproving time. You see life, as we know it, is but as series of Pagan sacrifices, rituals. Thus when you lay down, and do not rise to sacrificing your foe, your foe, or one like him, will sacrifice you, this is precisely how the current state of the universe works, runs, and on a large scale, came to be. Several thousand disappear, are unaccounted for each and every week. The methods of transportation, living and basic needs, kills many many more (over 3,000 a day with car accidents alone). Yet with the double birth rate, which is why it exists, the math, this goes largely un-noticed. Souls by the thousands are leaving this dimension each and every day, it's as if a stadium of people were sacrificed, murdered and tortured each and every day. We American's look up, and see the Sun shine, and the birds sing, yet never question the ever undulating Pagan tide. This has been going on for quite some time. These beings are literally reapers, this is not a fantasy, or some supernatural episode, this is for real.
A message:
"If you are alive, vibrant and prospering, you have not won, not, not in the least. You see, you are being used, in one fashion, or another, as to effect that field of those you think about, that you consider, in you inner circle, hold within your mind. It benefits these beings, to have people share these circles, which agitate the fields. Since it is a rapidly emergent fact, that Einstein was but a front Man, tell that to the Dr who carried this brain around with him in a suitcase, as the courts chased him to usher it's return, for years after his death. All Einstein truly had, was and entitled and deep sense of "what is", that which is apparent in the world of today, the now. If he were to look at say Tesla's work, the very Physics that gave him fame, would seem to choke him at once, upon that revelation, of understanding. You see, this is an electric Universe, more so an Electromagnetic Universe. So by simply controlling "your" E.M. pulse emissions, by the Billions, these beings control the very rate coding signal, of thought transfer, that projects onto the field, a reality within the pleroma (Earth, a world)...we are setting the very frequency, of our own demise, by way of our own expression, from within. We called out, and someone was always listening.
With CERN this notion has come full swing, in that we are actually recruited to destroy the very world in which we live. People who gain a little favor, suddenly take the information as "the way it is", but are taking heed, of words, spoken into and through them (they are inhabited). The truth is, that life is peaceful, bliss is all around us. The very grip to life, that the Masonic influence has on "our" gender, is but a lie. The transformation, this faction, is avoiding, so ardently, is in fact, that next level towards the enlightened human era. We are, destroying our very God given right, for earthly ascension. There is no law, there is no such thing as money, and the inventions of our day, are the very contraptions that are fashioned to kill us. There was a time, when this notion could be cast away, along with the intruder at the gate, to your spiritually blessed property. Yet did you bother, to listen to the murmur as that being, looking as a Man walked away? He was laughing, remembering the future, when he would look upon your great, great, great, great, great grandson and take ever the more pleasure in destroying what you thought you were working towards, in that day (lineage of shared consciousness). The Land is now a strip mall, the spiritual blessing became a curse, the name sake, has become a number, and there is even something worse, your offspring, did it to themselves, it took that patience of centuries, even thousands of years, to shape a Man of God, into a lifeless bitter piece of clay (now Golem). And now, the final assault. That clay, made of matter, will be shattered itself, as this world slips into the clutches of a dark substance, that "were permeate" to take over this world. It was and is to this day, a lack of Purity, taught by your very Elders, in the false name of self preservation, for the day, which wound you up here, in this mess, you, we, are but a lifeless breed.~
EPL Esoteric Principles of Light (ROKbodhi123)