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Friday, December 11, 2020

My Ball and Chain; inescapable me

Just like this post, or a piece of art, or anything that I did in the past, I would go back over and over and over again. 

 The issue came out that I saw a jealousy as well as sabotage from unseen entity or entities that would come sntlyvcreate sabotage and friction against me.
 When it would attack my younger son I had to decide, do I live for me or do I stop the attacks by backing off of the success I was now destined for? I chose the latter and it's been hell ever sense. 

 Some are not targetted soecifically, for this I can fully attest. 

 The events that came into my life, showed a world that I was entirely unprepared to witness or become a part of.

 Because of this my life went into retrograde. I had to figure out to some extent what was going on?

 The answers were few if any, the cost was greater than can be imagined. 

 One the I know of the Malevolent other side of things, is that they will attack family members and use family members to to keep you suppressed and ultimately attempt to destroy you. 
 They know your story and your lineage and will use these familiar lines and familiar pairings as to gain a foot hold in your life. 

There is some conclusive that they are avoiding with their very being. They make deals, they have familiar lines here that serve them and they are as close to black magic as anything could be


So I would train hard, and follow this routine in addition to weight training and personal development. 

I would consume Meat by the pound, with little to no fat and ultra low sodium 

Low fat cottage cheese 

Beef jerky 

Water

Protein bars only when I have to (instead of food)

Protein drinks ready-made with low to no carbohydrates 

Protein powder in hand always, days when 20 or more scoops and nothing more drive GNG and walking

If I'm too poor I carry a 5 lb container of protein powder on my back.

Many nights that container housed within that backpack is a place to rest my head.

My ideals, an exceptional standard, a way, the only way.

Diet coke caffeine and phenylalanine ENT 

Salad without dressing

Rice plain at night as only carb source later after most fat is shed

Vegetables

Hot tea 

Supplements; Emergency C packets, vitamin C, Cal/Mag/Zinc, Chlorophyll 

Walking continuously 

Many sleepless nights 

Pissing every 15 minutes 

Crystal light packets to get water down 

Lots of walking
Suffering
Time alone 

Slowly after months, after I can see them, I'll start working on my abdominals. Then some push-up. Then a few pullups. Jump squats.

 I start to come alive. From this Long Winter I begin to thrive on this, lifestyle. 

 Then into some core exercises. 

Pretty soon it's more about flexing and sculpting constantly, all the time, remaking myself. Every muscle can be seen and felt. Failure each time I subvert. 

 From every muscle in the face and head, to my feet and every muscle group in between which constantly reshape, remake myself with every minute of every day. 

Pretty soon my body asks for things, like brussel sprouts, carrots, broccoli, cabbage. 

People want to stop me, sabotage me, seduce me, alter me. 

Humbly, and dizzy, I walk on. Mile after mile after mile after mile after mile and mile after mile and on. 

My senses are heightened. 
I relate with no one.
Yet everyone wants to be around ME.
Wants to know my secret. 

Well it's hidden in plain view.

All of this would go towards more natural 

There is a 3 to 5 day flux, where adequate calories must be consumed as well as appropriate macronutrients (supercompensate). If a person can keep the resources available and measure thier carbohydrate needs, the guess work is eliminated. It is tough to get on a routine where carbohydrates and fat are kept apart. However this greatly effects the insulin sensitivity that we want to keep active. 



Stellarmass13

True Power of self-denial

 It's a decision that you make.

The only True Power that you can ever take back is when you deny yourself. Self-denial as an ongoing ritual, until it becomes your very meaning, your mantra and what you are known for. Though this truth is always cloaked behind a certain kind of glamour exostentially however intrinsically this is a soul altering pain. A pain so deeply cutting,  that it shall never be forgotten. It mars and alters a soul. Because this type of self inflicted, long-term and enduring pain transforms "M.E.", magnetic energy. 

Deny only that which brings you into balance.
Learn to take pleasure in simplicity. 

Stellarmass13

Charles Bukowski's crappy life

Click

Only the coming rain

Can one get burned out on life, permanently?

Because

The truth?

I don't care

Since I can remember, I have been forced to care 

So much so that I was beaten and shamed for not caring

From this I realized that forcing me to care was a grand slight of hand shared

I realized I don't care about the authors of their own story, making such great effort as to cause me to maliciously sacrifice what I may have once cared about 

Now too much has changed

It has been too long

I don't remember

So much abuse and confusion, causing such static, around what I was forced to think (was a natural or rational base impulse)

I had forgotten to care about myself

Indeed this was the plan from the beginning

I then realized that I cared about very close nothing 

I lost interest in others contorted fantasy

Like an animal I appreciate the basics
Sun on my skin
Food in my belly, but not too much 
And a place to sleep...
safely and in the quiet of night

A reversion to the basics when all the people in your life have sacrificed you in order to author their own story

There is no story 

Only the coming rain 

Barry

Christmas 🎄 Star ✨

Christmas Star

Hallucination Free

RT Click

Chile Protests; Demand Pinera's resignation

https://youtu.be/Hqsh0mJmqA0